At a recent yoga day retreat I attended, I came across a really captivating teacher. Before knowing who she was or that she was about to take the next session of the afternoon I asked her what style of yoga she taught. She said it varied and she no longer liked to put a label or box herself in to the various yoga labels that over time, stagnate. Labels that us westerners get caught up in and mostly in truth, are really confused by. Do you know your jivamukti from your hatha or your iyengar from forrest or rocket and everything in between? Didn’t think so. Me neither. I sometimes think it’s a bit spiritual gangstery when people announce their ‘yogic style’ as though they/it are somehow worthier; like those people at the beginning of a yoga class who start performative poses as a kind of imposed superiority whose subtext is ‘I’m fucking bendy, probably more bendy than yaou….’ which actually is ironically the total antithesis of any yogi or yoga practice. It’s just movement with conscious breathing at the end of the day. But that is a whole other post.
Anyway, I digress. This teacher said the next hour would be a kind of a fusion of yoga but mostly, Qi Gong. For those that don’t know, Qi Gong (pronouned Chi Gong) is a Chinese practice that combines breathing, movement and meditation. Which it was.
This teacher’s opening gambit before we even began practice was to me at once startling and humbling - she said that the last every thing that every single one of us would do here on Earth would be to exhale. That really took me aback. I’d never unified the commonality of humanity in that way before. It made me feel a bit emotional and vulnerable.
Then we began to move - we held the moon for ages, we pretended to be bears, we moved mountains and parted clouds and dug around the ocean floor and pretended to be elephants as our fingertips dappled along the floor like they were intuitive trunks, we even parted heaven and earth. It was my first in-person experience of QiGong and it was really enlightening. It was slow, it was meditative, it was a good solid workout both physically and mentally. Mostly because I had to stoke resilience to slow everything down and not to be pounding through sun salutations and all the rest of a dictated pacy sequence.
At the very end, she cued us into a standing meditation which was really quite difficult - although the pose was very simple - to stay in it, was hard. It was so tempting to just let go and drop your arms but in a room of 30 or so people, no one dared break. We all stayed in this stance despite the short (seemed long at the time) minutes we were here and by the end, my arms were absolutely killing. During this, my focus narrowed, I was not thinking about anything else except about looking at a fixed point straight ahead on the horizon and to not drop my arms. It was completely what a meditation is intended to be - a zone out and by so doing, a cleanse away from all the monkey mind chatter. Weirdly when you’re in the throes of something that is slightly difficult or challenging, it is all you can think about. No fancy apparatus or reformer pilates machine required here, just a stance with your own two feet and your arms in a shape as though you are holding a biggish box. We then all sat in a circle - and she said we were all sitting so, because in the circle we are all equal. There is no hierarchy here, no start or finish, no one sitting higher or lower, just all on the floor, together as one contiuum. It all felt so harmonious from the inside. I filled up.
By contrast, last summer I heard snippets in passing on the radio and TV about people asking their surgeons to make them look like they do on their snapchat filters - I zoned out of the ridiculousness of this, I couldn’t fan the flames of this silly news story any more by reading it or listening to it but I thought to myself, I am not surprised.
More recently, and what prompted this week’s post is I have been reading about the obsession for ‘facial harmony.’ As in having ‘corrective surgery’ so that your face is more symmetrical because then apparently it means it = more beautiful. Fact, very few people have a totally symmetrical face. But this (warped) theory of thought goes that apparently if your face is equal you are more beautiful because it means you are in ‘balance.’ Ha! The absloute irony!
Symmetry between eyes, lips and cheeks and the relationship between these are crucial according to the surgeons in the upsell blurb, ‘if one feature is out of proportion it can draw attention to that area and disrupt the overall balance.’ Jesus, no. Who can live with that!? If ever there is a serious case of self obsession, surely this is it. I seem to recall Christy Turlington being voted as having the most symmetrical face of all the supermodels back in the 90’s….I mean I can see the symmetry yes but the asymmetric Kate will ALWAYS do everything and more for me (she who was told she would not make it as a model..ahem.)
I get it, I get self care, looking after yourself, being kind, treating yourself, all of that I completely advocate 100%, but injecting your chin so your nose looks smaller? Oh puh-leese. Also side bar, the surgeons or aestheticians are running businesses and are pedalling all this deep seated media/advertising that deplores us to be better/look like this/buy this/wear this bullshit. It is a stream of capitalist diatribe and nothing more than a big fat mask (no pun intended) that persists in the quasi misogynistic narrative that society pedals (such as women being celebrated for looking younger than they are) that then seeps into a vulnerable part of you which makes you act and in turn magically, KERCHING! you multiply their bank balance.
Did you see the story this week about the undercover BBC journalist outing this so called doctor wanting to inject ridiculous amounts of filler into her butt…he hid behind the door when she knocked calling him out for almost killing other women with his back street unqualified practices. Flagrant immorality in a cowboy industry that by the way is rife.
What I find most startling about this and the billions of social media posts about ‘facial harmony’ is that people are so overly concerned with harmony ON THE OUTSIDE. I mean truly, does anyone fall in love and stay for life just because of a FACE? Could I just enquire about the inner harmony? How are you really feeling and doing? Is this obsession with the external masking something that is emotionally entrenched? Do many people hope to dissolve deep seated unhappiness and inner discord by the act of harmonising and homogenising their face? Do a little cross fingers behind their back and hope ‘perfection’ seeps inwards and downwards into the heart and soul. Let’s face it this is all fairytale.
Answer = no.
Should we instead try and concentrate on finding the things that makes us happy inside and putting the money and attention to the inner majesty instead? Reference my post last week to zone in on the small things that are there if you look hard enough and perhaps ponder yours.
Another heroine of mine, Julia Roberts in a recent interview recently said;
“I am aging with dignity, humour, and serenity
I don't resort to lifting or Botox and I know by Hollywood standards I'm risking my career.
She adds, "Anouk Aimée said to me, many years ago when I was very young and it didn't occur to me that I would ever have a wrinkle. You live your face in your life until you're 50, and then you live your life on your face.'
Stand up, be asymmetric, be visible, persist with the narrative that we are fucking fine as we are. Oh and try Qi Gong for awakening and some cultivation of inner harmony.
To start, try the most simple, Wuji stance…(pronounced, woo-jee)
ANYONE CAN DO IT….
Stand with your feet as wide as your hips
Turn your feet slightly out
Bounce on your knees to soften your joints
Tuck your tailbone slightly
Close your eyes and feel into your feet
Take deep breaths
(challenge yourself) Stay for 5 minutes!! Ok, try 1 min to start with….
Plus loads of stuff on You Tube to get you going.
Great read Gemma. Thanks.
Looking forward to Nourish.
Nothing to prove ,
Everything to share. 🙏
Absolutely love this Gem xx