Hosting & Boredom
Sometimes together other times not.
A couple of weekends ago, we had been invited to our neighbour’s 80th birthday party. This lady lives alone and had decided to take it upon herself to organise all of it, in the village hall. The music (she played in the band that was entertaining), the food, the drinks, the albeit minimal tablescaping, in short everything that this blank hall needed to look and feel like a party. And then of course four or so hours later, pulling it all down and putting it either into boxes or into the bin. Having witnessed how frantic she was all night and then helping her tidy up afterwards, I wondered whether you could call it a party for yourself or if it was more accurate to say it was an endurance test of getting through time sensitive tasks. Even in her thank you letters she expressed regret at not getting around to talk to everyone and socialise and catch up properly with everyone that had come along (some from afar), to mark the occasion.
I wondered what it was all for. But then I am not one who would ever want a party for myself. I’d rather go to a really good one and not have the worry of any of it. Walk in, party, check out. I said to myself afterwards that if I ever did get to a wonderful old age and wanted to celebrate then all I would want to do is to be living it up in a fancy hotel with anyone I liked that wanted to join me, having champagne and breakfast lunch and dinner served to me with no clearing up whatsoever.
The same feeling can apply when you feel like you’re in a phase of having guests over all the time or the ‘over-hosting.’ The planning, the shopping, the execution, the carousel of the tidy up (gah!) not to mention the cost, sometimes feels so laborious. When you’re in this zone, on reflection you can often look back and ask yourself - what part of that did I enjoy? What part of that getting everyone together meant that we got to really hang out and spend some quality time. Sometimes it’s a bit grainy.
Or then there’s the people that you know who are regular impostors, those that because you live in a bigger house or have more facilities for the kids or teenagers or too many four legged friends to be left at home for too long, are always coming to you - and never thinking that you might actually want an invitation out yourself, to leave your own four walls at times and not be stage managing everyone’s food and drink whims and gathering half consumed scattered plates and glasses that are left in the oddest of places and forgetting yourself in the midst of all that. With Christmas looming ahead (November has an uncanny tendency to go extremely quickly), if you are the main host, don’t forget to make time for yourself before the chaos ensues.
Anyway back at the 80th bash. My youngest was bored and had an awful headache. That probably was a bit of a fib to begin with to try and avoid actually going at all but with the words ‘I’ve got a headache,’ whirring and then a very loud brass band that wouldn’t relent, I am sure it did actually get a lot worse. We didn’t really know anyone, there was nobody dancing at all and the overhead lights were just so punishing and so unconducive to any sort of ambience that we opted at that point not to doom scroll neither exit but with some pens and a paper table cloth in-front of us, to play some old school games instead.
It took me back to a time before devices when I was young growing up with my sisters. Mum and Dad would take us to lots of pubs and bars which was great fun (to a point aged 9 or 10), but we’d get bored so we’d make up something fun to do. Happily the tablecloths in Ibiza in the 80’s were often paper because it made for an easier and quicker clear down. So there we would be doodling on the paper and making cheap and easy entertainment as mum and dad supped on their well deserved G&T’s and sometimes got involved in our games too. It was so much more communal and enjoyable than everyone being on their own phone that you see so much at the dinner table these days (which I always think is so odd considering you’re meant to speak to each other over the dinner table).
We played noughts and crosses - fun yes for about a millisecond but just over far too quickly. A bit like Connect 4 only quicker and with no equipment required. And then Hangman which I always loved and still do. Then my youngest drew a beautiful picture (below). Under the bright lights and out of boredom we made our own fun. And nobody fell into an individual digital abyss or at the meer sniff of not being stimulated did reach for our phones (except for me to document what I knew would be evidence for my next blog).
It made me think about other games we used to play on long car journeys at home and on holidays back when I was growing up.
Spinning coins gave HOURS of entertainment, I can’t believe how many hours I used to practice trying to spin 1p, 2p, 10p, 20p pieces. Especially in the pub.
On the pub topic, flipping beer mats and trying to catch one. Then adding to the stack seeing how many you could flip and then catch.
The Shopping List game - ‘I went to the shop and I bought….’ You add what you buy and then everyone else adds their own thing to buy and you have to recite the entire list which just keeps getting bigger. Honestly that game used to give me a headache which is why I always bring my real shopping list to the supermarket (except when I leave it on the fridge which is often).
The one where you start the story at the top of the paper with a sentence, then fold it over and pass it along to the next person who writes the next line (having not seen what you wrote and then passes along until you run out of space on the paper. Then at the end you open up the paper and read the ‘story’ that everoyne has blindly contributed to. Very many laughs at this one and sometimes surprisingly good stories. One of my fave games growing up.
The alphabet game - choose a topic and then name one as you work through the alphabet - e.g the Fruit & Vegetable game - Apple, Brocoli, Cabbage etc. Or animals, Ape, Baffoon, Cat etc.
Chinese whispers - another one that gave hours of fun. To much hilarity.
Giving people or being subjected to chinese burns - absolutely not hilarious at all and infuriating as I always seemed to get very bad ones and not be so good at dishing them out.
Black Jack - ok pack of cards needed but literally hours of fun playing this. Then meeting people who had their own version and arguing about what every card meant and the rules associated with the differing versions. Invariably arguments ensued. Also SNAP!, Solitaire (infuriating). And a game I could never get the hang of that I kind of hated, Rummy.
I am sure you can think of others that you used to play back in the day and maybe still do now. Sometimes it’s good to be pushed into a real change of scenery or where you’re trying to make some fun out of not very much just having some simple props (pen, pencil, paper) and of course, most importantly, your favourite people.